Crafting Heartfelt Wedding Vows Together
Photo by Judson Rappaport
Writing vows can be all kinds of stressful. More so, if you’re not used to expressing your thoughts and feelings. So in order to ease those nerves and help you craft those love-filled vows, make it date night activity.
Have an honest conversation with your partner and get to the heart of what matters most in your relationship. This can be very therapeutic and lots of fun! The whole point is to get a real sense of the big and small things you each bring into your relationship. Especially those perfectly imperfect pieces you love and appreciate about one another that will give you the strength to push through the hard stuff.
Intentionally communicating about your vows will give you both the common ground and confidence needed to begin writing.
Next, jot down what you and your partner spoke about and freeflow write for about 10-15 minutes. Don’t judge your writing style, worry about grammar, or try to be poetic. Simply write the way you speak. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck trying to perfect your first few thoughts when the goal is to pour your heart out without any pressure. If it’s easier to audio record yourself thinking out loud, do that, and then transcribe it. Check out our blog to get the vow writing juices going.
Photo by Khaki Bedford Photography
Vows, at their core, are promises. So use all that love and inspiration from your intimate conversation and your freeflow writing to begin transforming 5-10 of those thoughts into promises that begin with ‘I will’, ‘I promise’, ‘I vow’, ‘I choose’. They can be simple, everyday promises like ‘I promise to order take-out when you’ve had a bad day’ or deep, long-term promises like ‘I will love who you are today and who you will become’.
Since marriage is an ALL IN sort of deal, it’s important to describe what that means for you in the context of your relationship. Remember, marriage isn’t easy and stating that you’re going to be there for your partner even when curveballs get thrown your way can be a powerful declaration of your commitment. The traditional vows of ‘in sickness and in health’ really hits home these days, especially after the pandemic.
If you’d like, you can modernize this bit to include challenges you’ve faced in your relationship, like the fact that you’ll continue to be there ‘through hanger and long-distance’. Or even touch on your other-wordly connection like caring for one another ‘in this life and the next’.
Whatever you come up with, stay true to your voice and keep it simple. Your vows don’t have to be a serious, somber affair. They just need to be true to YOU.