Four Reasons To Include Unity Rituals

Photo by DAG Images NYC

TLDR: We strongly believe that you shouldn’t feel like you need to include anything in your wedding ceremony that doesn’t feel authentic or meaningful to you, but if you’re unsure about whether or not you’d like to include one, read our four reasons why you may want to include a unity ritual.

What are unity rituals anyway? Generally, unity rituals are a symbolic representation of two individuals uniting as one team and one family. There are many popular unity rituals that each have specific meanings, history, and cultural roots that can amplify the message you’d like to convey on your wedding day.

It’s important to know off the bat that unity rituals aren’t a required or expected part of your wedding ceremony. At least, not with us! We will never pressure you to add a ceremonial element that doesn’t resonate with you. We may share some ideas with you based off our conversations, if you’re open to hearing options, but this is your wedding day and it’s important to us to bring your vision to life.

Here are four reasons to include unity rituals in your ceremony:

1. Culture and Tradition

The main reason many couples opt to include a unity ritual is for cultural reasons. Oftentimes, we see this with multicultural partnerships where one partner is Jewish. In this case, many want to end their wedding ceremony with the breaking of the glass tradition. Some want their non-Jewish loved ones to have a sense of the origin of this ritual before everyone cheers with a resounding ‘Mazel Tov’. Others who are culturally Jewish but not religious prefer a more secular approach with no explanation of its origins, but with the same thrill of this JUST MARRIED moment.

Photo by Judson Rappaport

2. Include Loved Ones

Some partnerships are close to their parents and/or siblings and some have children from previous relationships that they want to include in a meaningful way. But in a way that isn’t as heavy a lift as a reading, for example. In this case, including these loved ones is the ultimate way of uniting their families and therefore one another. We see this most often with a Lasso ritual which has Latin roots, where they can bring forth their parents/siblings to offer blessings onto their marriage. For blended families, they choose something more kid-friendly depending on their ages so something like a Unity Sand ceremony, a Unity Plant ceremony, or a multi-ribbon Handfasting ritual works really well without need for much preparation.

Photo by Steuerklasse 4

3. Symbolism

If one or both of you find symbolism in everyday things and like the idea of infusing your wedding ceremony with symbolic significance, a unity ritual may be right for you. Sometimes, couples want to modernize or remix classic unity rituals like the unity candle where instead of lighting one candle, they light the candle of every guest in attendance. The most popular unity ritual for our couples happens to be the time capsule, which can be personalized to your liking. Some couples opt to open it for their first anniversary, others for their fifth anniversary, but the purpose is to place meaningful items within the time capsule that you are gifting your future selves in celebration of your chosen anniversary. Couples oftentimes include a drink of choice, whether that’s wine or whiskey. We’ve had couples chose to include polaroids taken from guests during the ceremony or notes with marriage advice from select loved ones, like grandparents.

Photo by Kapsule Co

4. Physical Embodiment of Commitment

If you love physical tokens of places you’ve been, enjoy art, or photos hanging on your walls, then you may just want to include a unity ritual that reminds you of your wedding day. Whether that’s something you frame like a Unity Painting or a broom that’s jumped or a personalized chalice you used for a wine or beer blending ritual - every time you see this significant piece in your home, you’ll be reminded of the love and commitment you shared on your wedding day.

If you think you want to include a unity ritual but aren’t sure which one resonates with you, maybe you’ll want to create your own or remix a classic. Either way, let us know your thoughts and we’ll help you narrow down some options that will resonate with you!

As wedding officiants at Once Upon A Vow, we know how challenging it can be to clarify your vision but we’re here to guide you in finding that wedding ceremony clarity so that you feel comfortable and excited in getting married to your favorite person! Our role is to get to know the core of you and personalize your wedding ceremony to be a genuine reflection of your awesomeness.