For the Love of Cannabis: Alex + Asher’s 420 Brooklyn Elopement
Photo by Judson Rappaport; Blog written by Karla
I am a cannabis consumer like many of you, like Alex and Asher too! It would be great if cannabis was decriminalized and for us to pair up the business side of this growing industry (aka the profits) with the healthcare/education/non-profit/social justice sides of it (AKA THE PEOPLE)! I’m not against profits. I want profit! But the growing income and wealth disparities as well as the opportunity and access gaps are real and it’s up to us to do something about it all.
Fortunately, there are people like you! I’m all about the people, particularly my brilliant LOVE WARRIORS who choose to lean into love and lead with it. Now look, I may love people, in general, but plenty of them or certain aspects of them get on my nerves just as I or pieces of me get on many people’s nerves! And that’s okay; it makes sense.
People can suck and people can also GREAT! The best way I see more of the great is by looking for it and finding it in love stories like Alex and Asher.
Our work is all about connections! The connection between our couples and the connection we have with them. Part of what I love the most about this work is that I get to turn my empathy and compassion into high gear and it’s usually quite the self-affirming experience.
It’s easy to see ourselves in our couples because we share similar human identities and experiences, have similar needs and wants. So when we get to see ourselves and more of our own stories reflected in theirs - the good, bad, ugly, and embarrassing - we get giddy because we’re reminded that we’re NOT alone. For me, it feels like plugging into a UNITY vibe - the ONE LOVE kinda feeling Bob Marley speaks of when he sings “Let’s get together and feel alright!”
Two years ago, Alex and Asher chose to elope in Prospect Park, Brooklyn - it holds significance to them and it’s a great local spot for elopements, in general. I fell in love with them upon seeing them walk towards me on September 1st, 2021. I was already crushing on them upon reading about how they came to be A-squared - the boss beautiful duo they are!!
Because it was semi-customized ceremony, I hadn’t met them until their wedding day. Well, when I saw this fine non-binary cutie patootie walk alongside their Earthy femme beauty, both rocking heals, my heart exploded!! I was like, YES!!! They are like me and my boo!! We are like them. We’re all brilliant and beautiful human beings just being human. Even the most shiny and gorgeous ones have a shadow side. But when we CHOOSE love, when we show up in that LOVE ENERGY, we shine BRIGHT!!
Thank you, Asher and Alex, for bestowing your light upon me and illuminating the beauty and expanding the LOVE within.
And, thank you, Judson, my dear friend and fellow queer creative entrepreneur!! Thank you for capturing the vibe and for your brilliant art!
Happy belated 420 if you celebrate! And if it’s 4:20 pm somewhere and you are reading this a little high, then Happy 420 to YOU!! That’s what I’m looking forward to doing later today.
As a professional wedding officiant, empathy practitioner, and enthusiast, I enjoy CELEBRATION and VIBING with people. RESONATING with others is my jam!! I love it!! I strongly believe in the POWER of the PEOPLE. As you know, I am a wee bit political and feel most proud of those aspects of history - that legacy that lives on today!!
These days, LOVE is my religion - LOVE is my guide, my soul’s purpose, and for the past 5 years, it’s been my business!! I struggle with the business side of it at times though. Mostly because, you know…CAPITALISM and all the ISMs in all spaces of commerce and service. But I’m working on getting over that because I really love this work!!
Speaking of work and business, as part of today’s ceremony I decided to write to all of YOU, my fellow cannabis lovers! I just want you to know that WE LOVE YOU and WE ARE HERE for you. We want to celebrate YOU on your wedding day!
I also want to encourage you and ME to continue to seek out ways we can help destigmatize the use of cannabis. I seek to support those of us who have hang-ups due to that stigma and help us get over feeling weird about a plant, historically and presently, used for its healing properties.
Now, I’m not saying that it can’t be overused or abused. Like EVERYTHING else we enjoy consuming, if and when we do it in EXCESS, it is problematic. Why? Because addiction is a problem - one, many of us contend with in some way, shape, or form given our CONSUMERIST first world existence.
“But, Karla, cannabis is a drug!” Okay, sure, I don’t deny that! Sure, weed remains a Schedule I substance under the Controlled Substances Act, meaning that “it has a high potential for abuse, there is no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States, and a lack of accepted safety for use under medical supervision.” And, yes, one can have adverse reactions when they consume it. That’s why I advocate for more funding to study it and I believe that if it’s going to be a commercial product like tobacco or alcohol, it needs to be regulated.
But beyond the “high” or “mind-altering” side of it, it offers human beings pain relief and it helps with insomnia and anxiety! That’s what it does for me, at least. That’s where I’ve come to appreciate its value in my 40s over my experience using it recreationally in my 20s or when I’ve had bouts of depression and abused it. I understand the concerns. I have them too. But I’m clear of the difference in those experiences and don’t take issue with healthcare providers checking in about it with their patients or encouraging them to monitor it or offer alternatives. That’s why I was so open about it with my VA mental health provider.
I get that the VA is a federal organization, but still, I’m in Mass where it’s legal. I wasn’t expecting approval, but I also wasn’t expecting to be chastised and told that I have a cannabis agenda because I very directly disclosed how and why I use cannabis. I shared how, for me, I prefer cannabis to prescription pharmaceuticals! Not that I'm against them or Western Medicine. I’m not here to bash pharmaceuticals as a whole because I personally know they work and I’m grateful they exist. But because they do exist, they can be misused and abused just like everything else. Some of the side effects don’t seem worth it to me when I have something else that already works without them. In fact, cannabis helps manage some of the side effects of my meds.
Plus, we now know about the vast issues with the industry as a whole. We’ve known for a while now that Nancy Reagan’s “Say No to Drugs!” campaign and how the 80s era WAR on DRUGS solved nothing and devastated many communities as a result of such messaging and policies. It was really just another war against the poor!
We know that much of it was fear mongering and code for we HATE Black and Brown folx because those were the ones most targeted in spite of substance use being an American issue across class and race. All of that, like much of what we now have, is just more government policy intended to WAGE WAR on our own citizenry and destroy countless of BLACK and BROWN and POOR and SICK people’s lives. We gotta remember and talk about the mass imprisonment of human beings because of our past and current drug policies just as we must discuss with all the nuance we can muster, how and why these ideas and language IMPACT our collective well-being!
We know that we’re way overdue for a new approach on cannabis, in particular, and DRUGS, in general. And I’m talking about all DRUGS. We gotta tackle substance abuse as a whole and criminalizing people for using it isn’t the way to a better society. Remember the Prohibition Era? It didn’t stop drinking as much as it grew an industry that operated in the shadows in plain sight.
Yes, fellow citizens, we NEED more access to quality mental health resources and support!! For sure, we do! We can ALL SEE there’s a lot of HEALING we gotta do!! We’ve got all kinds of epidemics up the wazooo! Still, I know it’s possible for us to do and be better than the worst versions of ourselves and that we are ALL on a healing and growing and expanding and evolving journey!!
We’re here to be - to experience and discover all of who we are!!